This is worth watching.
MUTO a wall-painted animation by BLU from blu on Vimeo.
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about
I am a 29 year old barreling towards a mid-life crisis. I live in Stamford, CT. I am married and I have a son.
I write whatever pops into my head.
Graffiti
May 16, 2008 –
Ageism….my new favorite form of discrimination
May 14, 2008 –
500 points & free breakfast
May 9, 2008 –
This morning I went to the front desk to get my bill and depart. The guy asked if everything went OK, and I mentioned that my wake-up call never arrived this morning.
He credited 500 points to my Starwood account and comped my breakfast (~$25).
This was a decent response, until you really start to think about. Let’s value what he gave me.
I can trade 14,000 Starwood points for $150 at Amazon, which is as good as cash. 500 Starwood points is worth $5.36.
But he actually stole money from me when he comped my breakfast. I don’t care how much breakfast costs (as long as it’s reasonable, and more importantly, that it arrives on time and enables me to be a productive worker bee for the maximum amount of time). The problem is that he’s actually stealing points from me when he reduces my bill. For every dollar I spend at a Starwood hotel, I get 3.5 points. (1 for the stay, 1 for my SPG Amex card, 1 for spending money at a Starwood hotel, and .5 for the Gold preferred guest bump) So comping me a $25 breakfast actually costs me 87.5 points or $0.94.
$5.36 - $0.94 = $4.42
Doesn’t seem so valuable anymore, does it?
Share ThisThey forgot my wake-up call
May 8, 2008 –
I knew something was fishy last night when the woman had to ask me my room number. Usually the nigh-shift dude just says “Thanks, Mr. Herbert, you’re locked and loaded for 7:15am.” I love getting locked and loaded.
The one day I need to wake up early, I get some stranger-danger new person who doesn’t know how to correctly load or lock.
Reminds me of Seinfeld at the rental car counter:
“You people know how to take the reservation, you just don’t know how to keep the reservation. Anyone can take a reservation.”
“I know what a reservation is, sir.”
“I don’t think you do.”
So much for going to sleep early and waking up at 5am to finish my work.
Share ThisWhich one of you….
May 7, 2008 –
….jerks called my hotel and told the staff to harass me?
Seriously, they’ve been calling and knocking on my door all night. Some guy just called me (at 9:53 pm) to ask how my stay is going. I’m trying to do work here!! Resist the urge to communicate!
In situations like this, I sometimes wonder who advised the hotel to treat their customers this way. Most large corporations hire consultants…did someone like me suggest that Gold members want more communication?
Share ThisUnbelievable!
May 6, 2008 –
The hotel workers must be taking my little rant personally. This morning, I shot off a quick post about the excessive intrusions of the staff. Tonight, they’ve tripled their intensity.
First, ordering dinner required 4 telephone conversations. 1) I call to order food. 2) They call back to tell me it will be up in 5-10 minutes. I jump in shower, phone rings immediately. I jump out, but just miss the call. 3) I call back to ask if anyone just called me. No, but we’ll check on it. 4) They call back to tell me my food will be right up.
Food is delivered. Short, pleasant conversation earns server a $5 tip (in addition to 21% service fee).
Then, 10 minutes later, I get another call.
“Hi Mr. Herbert, it’s the room service manager. I just wanted to check and see how your room service experience went tonight. How was the food?”
“Hurmggmm.” Chew chew, swallow. “Unsubscribe!” OK, I didn’t say that. I made one of those self-deprecating jokes that make the other person feel good about themselves. You know, it’s called “charm.” But the last thing I should be doing is wasting energy on charm when I only have 20 minutes to scarf down dinner, talk to my wife, and listen to Barack Obama’s speech before getting back to work.
So I do all those things and then decide to move from the desk chair to the Heavenly Bed. There are many reasons that Starwood is the best hotel chain in the world for business travelers…I think #4 is the Heavenly Bed (After points, points, and vacation destinations). So I unplug my laptop and spend about 5 minutes getting perfectly situated on the bed. This involves a delicate balance of pillow-arranging so I’m comfortably reclined but unlikely to fall asleep. Also, water must be within reach.
I spend about 8 minutes in a flurry of productivity.
Then, at 10:55 pm, a hotel employee knocks on my door.
My first thought was to scream out “WHAT CAN YOU POSSIBLY WANT FROM ME!?!” Instead I sighed and asked “Yes?”
“Oh Mr. Burbert, I turn down service gobbledy gook check out tomorrow blah blah blah.” That’s what it sounded like. Shit, I thought, this might be important. I got up and opened the door.
“Oh Mr. Burbert, I turn down service, just checking to see if you want a turn down.”
“No.”
“How about a chocolate?”
WTF? Who goes around knocking on hotel room doors at 11pm? Is this some kind of valued perk for Gold Starwood members that I’m too unsophisticated to understand? Is it like a hot towel in first class? You know, the kind of thing that only seems incredibly stupid until you try it?
Why would I want some strange woman to come into my room, give me chocolates and tuck me into bed?
Ok, when I say it like that, there might be some value in it. If only she were 30 years younger and had more teeth. But seriously, what if I were sleeping?
Something must give.
Share ThisUser friendly improvements
May 6, 2008 –
I’ve been staying at the same Westin hotel for the last couple of months. I have a few tips for management:
- Stop calling me. Every time I order room service, I get 3 phone calls before the food actually arrives. “Hi Mr. Herbert, I just wanted to let you know that we have your order.” “Hi Mr. Herbert, your food will be up in 5 minutes.” Just bring me the food and stop bothering me!
- Give me a place to hang up my workout clothes. I bring one set of workout clothes to the hotel each week. I’d like a place to hang up my sweaty shirt so it dries out before the next day. A simple hook in the bathroom would be great. (In all fairness, I don’t think I’ve worked out twice in the same week yet, but it’s the principle of the thing)
- Just get out of my room. The room service delivery person insists on showing me all of my food when it’s delivered. She lifts the cover off each plate and announces what I’ve ordered. I order the same thing every time, I don’t need you to tell me what it is. I half-expect her to say “Ta-Daaa!” each time, which would admittedly make it tolerable.
- Make the internet faster. If I’m going to pay $9.95 for an internet connection, you could at least have the decency to give me more than 10mpbs/second.
On the plus side, you’ve definitely figured out the plug thing. I love the powerstrip that emerges from the desk…no more crawling around on the floor to find an open outlet.
Share ThisInspiration to write
May 2, 2008 –
I just finished On Writing, by Stephen King. I highly recommend it. For the first time (that I’m aware), I agree 100% with The Cleveland Plain-Dealer, which wrote “This is the best book on writing. Ever.”
If you’ve ever dreamed of becoming a novelist, this book will inspire you to start writing.
I’m not going to summarize his points here, because you should really go out and buy the book. But I will share the biggest takeaway for me.
When King thinks of an idea for a story, it all starts with a situation. [High school outcast chick develops ability to control things with her mind.] Then he just starts writing. [Carrie walks to school and runs into her friend. She decides he should burn. He does.] He tries to be as honest as possible about what the characters would actually do and think, and he writes it.
On the second draft, he looks for themes and more carefully develops them.
I know, I know. Stephen King is a brilliant science fiction writer, and I’m, well, I’m a blogger who has a website called Herbietown. True enough. But Stephen King used to be an English teacher who folded laundry for extra money.
Some will say that King’s approach works for popular fiction but would never work for real literature. Look, I never said I wanted a Pulitzer. I just want to use my imagination.
Maybe some day, after we pay off my student loans, I’ll give it a shot. I’m envisioning a thriller that takes place in corporate boardrooms1 and airport lounges (where I spend vast chunks of my time). And surely the Internet will play a role…
1 windowless conference rooms
Share ThisStamfordians! Help lower gas prices!
April 19, 2008 –
Here’s a great site for finding cheap gas prices. But it relies on regular folks (like my readers) and extraordinary folks (like me) to enter in pricing information.
Right now, the site says that the cheapest gas is at the Gulf station on Long Ridge and Webbs Hill ($3.50 / gallon). You can even map prices. But I think the site needs more users before it will become truly great.
Think of the possibilities… Simply by sharing information, we can inject a little more competition into the system, and perhaps drive down prices a bit.
Share ThisMy Nalgene Causes Puberty?
April 19, 2008 –
Unbelievable.
The National Toxicology Program says that certain plastic bottles release a chemical called bisphenol, which could cause breast cancer, prostate cancer, and early onset puberty. (see nytimes article)
This is the stuff that goes into baby bottles! Is my 5 month old going to start growing pubic hair?
Put Jack aside for a minute….what about me???
I carry a blue/clear Nalgene waterbottle EVERYWHERE I go. On business trips, I try to drink 6 refills a day to combat the dry air on planes and hotels. When I take Jack for a walk, I always carry the Nalgene in the $34.95 cupholder on our $899 stroller.
I don’t do it because I care about the environment. In fact, I’ve been caught transferring water from plastic Poland Spring bottles to my Nalgene, and then tossing the plastic into the landfill. Does anyone remember those reports that warned against drinking from plastic bottles that had been left out in the sun? Somehow the plastic bleeds into the water and your insides melt… I guess the alternative isn’t any safer.
Anyway, there are some funny parts to this story.
First, no one paid attention when Canada declared the chemical to be toxic. It must totally suck to be a Canadian scientist.
Second, all the evidence is based on rats hitting puberty early. What exactly happens when a rat hits puberty? Pimples? Wet dreams?
The best part of this whole story is how it focuses on Nalgene, when in fact the interior of most cans are lined with an epoxy resin that contains the chemical. Thermo Fisher’s stock seems to be doing just fine, but why are they getting all the attention?
Share ThisQ1 Review
April 13, 2008 –
Texas Rangers Sign Polygamist Shortstop
April 12, 2008 –
I receive breaking news alerts from CNN, WSJ, NYT, various media-industry and bankruptcy-industry sources. I get a lot of emails. If the Fed cuts interest rates, my Inbox suddenly has 9 new messages letting me know what happened. I usually read one of them and archive the rest.
It amuses me to see the varying thresholds for “breaking news” from all of these sources. The WSJ sticks to major financial news, like deal announcements or stock market swings. The NYT tends to cover national and political news, like when a leader of a foreign country passes away or a self-righteous politician is caught being human.
CNN, on the other hand, will do just about anything to entice me to turn on my television. “High speed car chase in San Antonio, Texas!” “Wife killer in Idaho sentenced to life in prison.” Or celebrity news like “Britney Spears Seen At Bowling Alley.”
Today I received this message from CNN (this is an actual quote): “Texas Rangers meet with and then release a man suspected of abusing a teenage girl at a polygamist compound.”
Naturally, my first thought was about baseball. I assumed the Texas Rangers had signed a new shortstop, and then released him when they found out he was a polygamist. That would have been newsworthy to me.
Maybe the player’s family was taking up too many seats in the player family section. Or maybe the guy was insisting that each of his 25 sons get a chance to be a batboy.
But no, CNN just wants me to turn on the TV, so I can watch endless looping footage of some guy walking out of a police station, and listen to blowhard after blowhard spout moralistic nonsense to the nation. If CNN gets lucky, I’ll stick around for Lou Dobbs to get my daily dose of fear, stupidity and ignorance.
Share This“It’s a slippery slope”
April 11, 2008 –
Yesterday, on Metro-North, I sat next to a guy wearing a bathrobe. He was reading a science fiction novel by Arthur C. Clarke, and popping pills. It was weird.
I arrived at home and told Greta. She laughed, and then pointed at me and said “You see, it’s a slippery slope.”
That really made me laugh. Sure, I’m a strange guy, and I love science fiction, but am I that strange? Can any of you people actually see me riding a commuter train in a bathrobe?
Share ThisI Can’t Imagine Why Anybody Would Want To Stop Crying
April 11, 2008 –
New parents will find this amusing.
read more | digg story
36% of my spending is on taxes
April 5, 2008 –
This chart shows a breakdown of our expenses over the last 3 months. Taxes are a whopping 36% of the total. (This is withholding, not actual tax payments, but it’s a fair estimate)
Making pie charts on a Saturday….priceless.
Thank god It’s Friday
April 4, 2008 –
Consultant, Superhero
March 31, 2008 –
Originally uploaded by christopherh01
Our chances of being audited this year might be slightly higher than in past years.
Turbo tax worked overtime yesterday. (It’d better work hard….this is the first year I bypassed trusty file-sharing Azureus and actually paid $120 for it). We had some major life changes: selling a condo, moving 229 miles for a new job, having a baby. We had some large donations-dozens of books donated to a local library and a van load of furniture and clothing (in addition to small cash donations to the elite learning institutions that hound and guilt me each year).
We had income in 3 states: new hampshire, new york, and connecticut. But the biggest red flag for the IRS will probably be my wife’s occupation: Superhero. I can’t take credit for thinking of this (I saw it somewhere on the internets), but it’s totally true.
To prove my point, you’ll have to check out Greta’s new blog.
http://babyfoodblog.wordpress.com
+
Atheism at Google
March 30, 2008 –
Next time you have an hour to kill, watch this video. It’s a speech given by Tim Keller to Google employees. Keller is a minister and he’s recently written a book that attempts to show up Dawkins and Hitchens and other atheists.
If you really want to get creative, take out a 6 pack and play a drinking game. Every time Keller says something absurd or patently false, take a sip. Every time you want to throw a beer bottle at the computer screen, do so.
If you’re like me, you’ll be hammered in 10 minutes and your computer will be soggy and riddled with glass shards. (don’t try this at home)
Share ThisMarines & Protesters
March 29, 2008 –
My wife and I went to Target today to buy milk, deodorant, and baby sweatpants. Exciting day. On the way there, we passed a rowdy group of anti-war protesters in front of the library. They carried signs with paintings of Kim Jong Il and George W. Bush, and they chanted and waved at drivers.
At the same intersection, 4 or 5 older men in red jackets collected donations from passing cars. Their signs said “Cash for Wounded Veterans.”
It was a strange contrast. At one point, one of the former marines dropped his collection cup and it started to blow away. The protesters shouted “It’s A sign!” As if god caused the cup to drop as a sign that all veterans are going to hell.
It kinda pissed us off. The soldiers deserve every respect, despite what you may feel about the war. Besides, these guys were old. The protesters do themselves a great disservice by disrespecting veterans and old people.
But it was fun to watch the drama unfold in our neighborhood.
Obama Wants to RAISE YOUR TAXES!
March 26, 2008 –
Obama wants to raise your taxes. Want proof (besides the barrage of big government ideas spewing from the Democratic Party)?
Last year he didn’t contribute anything to a tax-deferred account, despite earning over half a million dollars.
From Greg Mankiw’s (awesome) blog:
Share ThisA key feature of the U.S. tax system is the option to put some income into tax-deferred savings accounts, such as IRAs and 401(k) plans. These accounts make the tax system a bit like a consumption tax rather than a true income tax in the sense that some part of saving gets exempt from taxation until it is later withdrawn and consumed. Many economists believe that consumption taxes are better than income taxes because they do not distort the intertemporal margin between consumption today and consumption in the future. Many financial advisers encourage people to put as much as they can into these retirement accounts.
I was surprised to see that Senator Obama has, for some reason, decided not to use this opportunity. His recently released tax returns show significant Schedule C income from book royalties (about half a million dollars in the most recent year). I am not a tax accountant, but I believe he could have put a substantial part of these earnings ($44,000) into a SEP-IRA and deferred taxes on it until withdrawal. Line 28 on his tax return, however, is completely blank.
Why? I don’t know. Maybe he is getting bad tax advice. Or maybe he is expecting vastly higher tax rates in the future when the accumulated savings will need to be withdrawn and taxed. As Obama economic adviser Austan Goolsbee has written, “Future increases in tax rates potentially threaten to significantly reduce the value of your retirement savings and may even mean that you should not save in 401(k) accounts at all.”
Family Dollar Makes Way For Equinox
March 26, 2008 –
It looks as if The Family Dollar won’t be renewing its lease on Prospect Street.
I am thrilled about this development. Hopefully, some upscale gym will move in. This will enable me to do 2 things:
- Regain my manly figure
- Rebuild my fragile ego by inviting city-folk out to the suburbs and impressing them with the high-end retail establishments surrounding our apartment
That said, we really do love the location of our apartment. The bars and restaurants on Bedford are sufficient to keep us amused for months. And they keep getting better.
But there are some very strange holdover stores clinging to their leases in this gentrifying area. For example, I know where you can find stuffed rats decked out in fur coats, Asian-flavored christmas figurines, and the best damn porn in Stamford. The worst offender though is The Family Dollar, which is located directly outside our window.
The place is rundown and depressing and they don’t offer a single item that I would buy. We’ve reformed ourselves from stupid young people into mature bargain hunters, so this isn’t my inner snob talking. It’s just that the store sells expired, damaged CRAP and they don’t maintain the building very well.*
Anyway, I can’t wait to see who takes over the lease. I’m hoping for Equinox gym or a science fiction book store.
*Furthermore, they attract all kinds of riff-raff that don’t deserve to breathe the same air that I breathe.
Share ThisDean Hansen on Bear Stearns
March 21, 2008 –
Tuck Econ professor Dean Hansen explains what happened to Bear Stearns here.
Share ThisMcCain Herbert 2008!
March 21, 2008 –
I know The Onion is just a humor site, but sometimes they’ve strangely prophetic.
In this infographic, The Onion predicts that McCain will court the hip, young blogger vote by tapping a hip, young blogger for VP.
I’m 29 and I have a blog. If there’s any doubt about my hipness, just check out this post, where I clearly demonstrate my knowledge of the youth ritual known as “pong.”
McCain Herbert 2008!
Do I have your vote?
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