Lots of mixed emotions from graduation…forgive me if they’re scattered.

1. Tuck Scholar: I found the whole experience of Tuck Scholarhood incredibly awkward. I showed up at Cook Auditorium and Amy handed me my Tuck Scholar pin and ribbon. I immediately felt conspicuous. I felt like everyone was staring at me.Obviously everyone wasn’t staring at me. Most people are just like me: they think only about themselves. But one of the consequences of sharing this blog with the world is this feeling that my inner monologue is public. It isn’t entirely public (else I’d be in jail) but most of it is hanging out there for all to see. I’m exposed. I like being exposed, because I think it keeps me honest, but it can also lead to paranoid delusions.Anyway, it was a giant fishbowl in Cook as students walked to the front of the room to pick up the green ribbon. I thought I’d be happy for the attention, but I just wanted to disappear. I didn’t have any humble jokes prepared, so my first few encounters made me blush. Eventually I settled on one of the following: “Greta made this ribbon at home” or “Greta added me to the list” or “Greta paid off Tuck.” None are particularly funny, but it usually succeeded in moving the attention away from me.

   That is, until we Tuck Scholars were called to the front for a picture. There I am, standing on the podium facing the adoring crowd, along with 37 other nerds, and all I want to do is melt into the background. Why was it so uncomfortable for me? Believe me, I’m proud to be a nerd….and I’m proud of the award. Maybe it would have been better if a list were emailed to the class.

2. Dave Browne’s speech was awesome. He mentioned me, which was obviously the best part. The second best part was when he mentioned Greta.Really though, he gave a personal, humorous speech. My eyes welled up with tears when he asked the partners to stand up. I looked back at Greta and thought about how we had made this life-changing move together. I just wanted to give her a big hug.
3. I didn’t take any pictures. It was too hard. The emotions were too strong. I decided to just let them wash over me, rather than capture every single moment. Now I can hardly remember anything from the day. That was a boneheaded move and I apologize to my throng of loyal readers….for now you’ll have to scour Facebook for graduation photos.
4. Post ceremony dinner: After the ceremony, we went back to our place for some ribs. In hindsight, it was ridiculous that we decided to cook for 14 people on the night of my graduation. Thankfully, Greta’s skills were equal to the task and Tim’s family was awesome. I particularly enjoyed when my stepmother Jackie met my professor Aviad…they are probably the two most direct people I know, which always makes for better conversations.
5. Where Tuck People Work: I had an interesting conversation with a Dartmouth graduate (a friend’s younger brother). I asked him how Dartmouth folk perceive Tuck folk, and he said that one perception is that we all seem to go into the private sector. The conversation was much bigger than that, but it make me wonder: what do Dartmouth folk think we Tuckies should be doing with our MBA’s? Government work? Charity? Something selfless? It’s sickening. Maybe Tuck should spend more time educating the world on the virtues of selfishness. We could create a new course and call it: “Why it is OK to be human.”This is a wee bit undeveloped, and I’ll try to flesh it out in future posts, but there’s something about this theme of altriusm that really gets under my skin.