I just got back from the annual Tuck talent show. I took a break from the Independent Study to absorb some humor from my classmates, thinking it would leave me feeling refreshed and positive.

Instead, I am left empty inside. Like a good consultant, I will structure my emptiness into 3 buckets:

1.  My classmates are so much more talented than me. It was a lot more than a 4 paragraph article and some HTML. This was high production value movie content, with quality writing and great acting. I’d like to think I could have thought of some of those jokes, but I never would have been able to pull off such a complicated project….certainly not with so much other work to do!

2. I was only in 1 picture. After Linda’s incredible singing performance (which I helped her write), we watched a 20 minute powerpoint presentation of funny pictures and captions, drawn from hundreds of parties over the course of the last 2 years. I was in exactly 1 picture. And that isn’t because the organizers only put photos of their friends in the presentation….it’s because there aren’t many photos of me out there! We didn’t go to very many parties. I’ve never been inside a Buchanan dorm room.  I’m left feeling like I missed some crucial part of the Tuck experience.

The thinking part of my brain tells me that I did exactly what I wanted to do during my time in Hanover, which was mostly to study a boatload, play hockey, build websites, write satire, and enjoy 2 years off from work. But on this last day of classes, my heartstrings are being tugged (whatever the expression is) and I’m feeling like I could have partied more…I could just relaxed and pretended I was back in college…I could have gotten to know my classmate a little better.

3.  I felt old. I was actually annoyed at all the screaming and talking during the performances. These people put their souls into their projects, and I was offended that others were so rude. (I hardly know what it feels like to be offended, but there you have it). People weren’t trying to be rude, but when you mix alcohol with anything, that’s what happens.The annoying part is that not everyone was drinking because we were told not to bring alcohol into Cook. So only the small percentage of people that didn’t give a F about ‘the rules’ were actually drinking. Which only made me more annoyed…and made me feel old!

So now I’m in the library again, planning to stay up all night to make my Note on Copyrights in the Digital Age perfect. Ugh.