To anyone that reads this blog, it will be no surprise that I was violently abused as a child. Until now, I’ve never been able to prove anything, so I’ve kept the dark secret locked inside me.

Then, yesterday, I was going through some old pictures of myself online, and I finally came across photographic confirmation of the horrors I experienced during my childhood. The picture below confirms what I’ve known for years: my parents dressed me up as the worst thing imaginable and paraded me around in public.

Apparently we made a trip to Boston and they thought it would be cute to dress me up like the locals. “Cute?” I find it disturbing and horrifying. It’s no wonder I couldn’t get any dates in high school and I’ve unloaded a small fortune on therapists.

Red Sox fans are obnoxious tough guys who think they belong to their own “nation.” They’re worse than Texans. I cannot believe that my parents took advantage of a defenseless child. It’s clear that I’m miserable! And look at that smile on my mom’s face….she’s obviously enjoying herself.

I’ll be filing a suit with the courts tomorrow morning. Mom and Dad, I hope you rot in jail!