I got lucky tonight. I was upgraded to first class. It used to happen to me all the time, when I was working for Enron. I’d buy full-fare tickets every week, so I quickly became platinum on continental, and upgrades became routine.
But now I’m back down to silver elite, which means absolutely nothing.
So I was shocked, tonight, to find out that I had been upgraded.
So here I am, lounging in my huge comfy seat, sipping on a fresh glass of water, and reading over some work papers…when all of these people start walking by. They’re fumbling with their bags like they’ve never flown before, and they’re trying not to look envious of these massive plush seats with yards of legroom.
I really don’t need to be exposed to all of that. I have enough problems with guilt already.
Take this one guy for instance:
Don’t give me that look, you jerk. I’m flying far far away from my pregnant wife, and I’ll be working for this entire plane flight, so don’t get all “the rich get richer” on me.
I don’t think I’m better than you. I’m just another guy, trying to do his job, who got lucky.
Oh jeez, now he’s checking out my blackberry curve and my bose noise-cancelling headphones. He’s burning up inside. The only thing that could possibly make this any worse would be if I had an iPhone.
I just want to sit here and relax. Instead 200 people get to file by me, each one making rapid fire judgments about my worthiness to be in this seat, and each one making me feel like a total shithead!
Planes really should be redesigned…the doors should be jus aft of the first class cabin. I turn left, chumps turn right!
It is really brutal flying in the front of the plane. Don’t you pity me?
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