I’m writing this post from Panera Bread Company in West Lebanon. We’re sitting here, eating breakfast, drinking lattes and reading the NY Times. Sound like a dream morning, eh? Wrong. This is the first day in a long time that we wish we were back in New York.

Over the last several months, we’ve been sprucing up the house to get it ready for sale. And we’re falling in love with our place all over again. There’s just so much character in the wood beams and floors, in the walls, in the barn, and around the property. We love our condo and we don’t really want to move–especially to a tiny New York City apartment.

Of course there are advantages to living in New York, like convenience and quality food, but we’ve learned how to deal with these by stocking up at BJ’s and the Co-op and cooking gourmet meals. Sometimes, however, you want to go out and have someone else make your food.

So this morning we decided to head to Panera for breakfast. We wanted two things: 1) a latte (b/c our espresso machine is down) and 2) a hard copy of the New York Times.

That’s when our nightmare started.

We arrived at Panera to find that they only carry the Valley News and USA Today. Are you kidding me? Fortunately there’s a Borders just around the block. On the way to Borders we pass Wal-Mart, where we see depressing families buying depressing junk for low low prices.

Greta runs into Borders and discovers that Borders doesn’t carry The New York Times. Isn’t the NYT our country’s paper of record? What country are we in?

Luckily, our second stop, a grocery store called Price Chopper, does carry the Times.

Paper in hand, we head back to Panera. We pass Wal-Mart on the way, and get depressed all over again by an overweight family in pink plastic parkas.

At Panera, Greta orders a decaf latte. Then I step up.

“I’ll have a regular latte, please.”

“Do you want it decaf also?”

“Regular. [didn't I just say that?] Can I have whole milk?”

“We don’t carry whole milk.”

“Why not?”

“It’s too hard to froth.”

Wow. Anyone who drinks lattes knows that whole milk is far superior to 2%. Shouldn’t it be my choice??? This would never happen in New York. In New York, consumers expect value for money. We expect quality, choice, and service. And we usually get it. But in West Lebanon, NH, it sometimes seems that people don’t know quality, can’t provide choice, and don’t understand service.

When our drinks come out, the cashier says “I think this one is decaf.” Very confidence inspiring….. If I’m still grumpy in 10 minutes, it will be because my wife got the caffeine.

Finally, we go to sit down and take advantage of free Wi-Fi. Free Wi-Fi sounds great, but my computer was low on batteries so I needed to plug into an outlet first. Guess how many outlets there are in the entire store? Two. Free Wi-Fi but you have to sit at one of two tables, both of which were occupied. I was forced to drag a table across the room, next to the garbage cans, so my cord could reach the outlet.

In New York, we could walk down the block and have a New York Times, a real latte, and free Wi-Fi in 30 seconds.

Ugh. I realize that I probably sound like a snob, whining about the New York Times and the type of milk in my latte. But I expect quality, choice and service…and I’m willing to pay for it! I can’t wait to move back to New York.

To be fair to the Upper Valley, all of this would be possible in Hanover, which is much more “cosmopolitan” than West Leb. But still.