We are continuing to struggle with our apartment decision.  I’m sure the loyal Herbietown readers are following this unfolding drama with intense interest.  Here’s the latest:

We started the day in Stamford, where we saw a 1st floor apartment 5 minutes (walking distance) from my office and 10 minutes from the train station.  The place is huge and very nice on the inside: hardwood floors, W/D in the unit, dishwasher, gym downstairs.  It’s on the first floor and has an open layout and a huge bathroom.  There’s a small back deck that we could put our grill on.  It’s great.  The only problem is that it’s in Stamford, where dreams go to die.

Next we went to Rye and saw an incredible 2BR in a complex-y type place, a few blocks from the train station.  Rye has a cute little downtown, perfect for yuppies.  We had lunch there, and the entire area was filled with ”dependents”–you know, children, wives and grandparents.  I liked it but the price was a little steep.  The landlord offered a 100 break on the rent, and we might be able to get more, but it’s still 500 more than the Stamford place.

Finally, we drove into the city and saw places in the East Village and Park Slope.  Both were disgusting crapholes.

We met with a broker who laughed at our price range and recommended Jersey City for a 2BR.  Ugh.

Tomorrow we’ll spend the day exclusively in Brooklyn, checking out places in Boerum Hill, Brooklyn Heights, Park Slope, Carroll Gardens, and the surrounding areas.

 There’s a good chance that we’ll be able to find a decent 2BR in Brooklyn in the 2500-2700 range.  The commute to Stamford would likely require a car, or a very long subway ride.  But the neighborhood would be much more “us” than the Connecticut suburbs.

And therein lies the problem.  Who are we?  To what extent do our living decisions define who we are?  We’ve never really saved money before…flying by the seat of our pants in SoHo and borrowing money to attend grad school.  Now we have a baby on the way and we should probably think about saving as much as we possibly can.  Between the difference in rents and tax rates, living in Stamford means an extra $1000 in our pocket every month.  That’s a lot of money.  Hell, we could lease a BMW with some of that savings.

But the neighborhoods in Brooklyn are so much cooler than Stamford.  It’d be exciting to take the baby out in the stroller and explore the streets.  Interesting shops and restaurants and a community of intelligent creative people…is that worth $12,000 per year?

When I think about the financial implications of our decision, there are two driving forces which push me to Stamford.  First, I feel the approaching responsibility of caring for our son, and I want to give him every opportunity in life.  Second, I don’t want money to force me into career decisions….if I decide to join a startup in a couple of years, I don’t want to feel restrained by my finances because I was irresponsible now.

It amazes me that I’m going to be making so much money (almost 5x my pre-Tuck compensation) …but my choices are still constrained!  It’s frustrating.  Hard to whine about without getting slugged in the face, but nevertheless it’s frustrating.

Is it true that we won’t have any life whatsoever once our son is born?  I’m imagining that every spare moment of free time will be spent sleeping or playing with the baby.  Are we really going to have time to enjoy Brooklyn?  We’re basically homebodies anyways….we enjoy cooking, watching the tube, reading, and just hanging out together.  And I spend a small portion of my time on the Internet…   We rarely go out.  So shouldn’t we save money and get a lot of space?

Another consideration is that being close to the office would force me to spend more time there, which would be good for me.  I’m not an affiliative person by nature, so I might need that extra nudge to get me into the office culture. 

So those are some of the things running through my mind.  The good news is that there is no pressure to make any decision, because we can live with my father for as long as it takes.  And that apartment (over the garage) is nicer than anything we’ll find anyways…

Cross your fingers that Brooklyn goes well tomorrow.  And please, leave some comments if you have any advice for us!